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Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Have a Heart
Do you remember decorating shoe boxes in grade school for Valentines Day? It was fun cutting out pink paper and edging the lace to make the old box look fancy. Excitement grew as we wrote our cards and dropped them into the boxes. Bringing home that box with all of the valentines and eating the heart-shaped sugar cookies were part of my elementary school memories.
Of course there is not time for this in school today. I do not believe that valentine design is part of the learning standards. You know that there is certainly not time to waste on frivolous activities. Studying for national and state tests are critically important to “show” that our kids know their stuff.
Too bad the stuff they learn will not include the art of having time for heart-felt learning!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
What Is Your Humor Style?
What makes you laugh? Who is your favorite comedian? These are a few of the questions that are involved in the workshop that I will be presenting this coming week called "Your Humor Style is Your Communication Partner".
The topic of humor styles has fascinated me for quite a while. I think most of us are mildly aware of our humor preferences and know that we prefer to be with friends and colleagues who appreciate our unique sense of humor. As part of the workshop this week, we will be actively looking at jokes, cartoons and identifying movies, and situations that we find funny. I will ask participants to think about how they use humor in communicating with others. How can a person enhance their humor practice to include more humor in their relationships?
I invite you to notice what makes you laugh. You might jot down those things that you find especially funny. Try to identify what kind of humor brings out a hearty chuckle. Is it puns, slapstick, stories, exaggeration, jokes, cartoons?
Awareness of our humor style is the first step in our ability to focus on integrating more humor into our communication with colleagues and friends.
As for me, I especially love short quips and quotes! "Remember-My dog can lick anyone!"
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Humor Quest: Pieces of Love
Humor Quest: Pieces of Love: "Happy New Year! Oh my! How did we get through another year so quickly AND--what do you remember about 2010? In looking back I am reminde..."
Pieces of Love
Happy New Year!
Oh my! How did we get through another year so quickly AND--what do you remember about 2010? In looking back I am reminded that strong memories emerge from strong emotional experiences. Your 2010 memories are most likely linked to whatever strong emotional reactions you had this year.
As I get older memories seem to merge and I find that I cannot exactly remember which year a traumatic or joyful event occurred. However, I do have super-charged experiences etched somewhere in my mind----even if they are not on a specific time line. Frequently my children and others remind me of something and memories come flooding back. Can you imagine how many experiences are stored in our brains? I am grateful to the research pioneers who are dedicated to learning how this organ works. I do know from their research that I have some control over my thoughts and over what memories I choose to plant in my own gray matter. Repetition creates strong neural pathways.
With this in mind (pun intended) I choose 2011 to be a year that I fully emerge myself in the joyful and positive events in my life. I want to fully appreciate and create joyful experiences, reliving them through writing; consciously expressing gratitude for the flow and ebb of positivity in my life.
My 4 year old granddaughter recently sent me a thank you note with a lot of random dots and spots on the envelope. Her mother labeled these as "pieces of love" that this child told her she was sending to me. I have kept this envelope and posted it in my desk area. Each time I look at it, I feel the pieces of love wash over me and I am filled with gratitude.
As you navigate the challenges and stress in your life, I encourage you to focus on the pieces of love that pop up in your life in unexpected places. We know that gratitude journals and expressions of appreciation contribute to a healthy lifestyle.
My wish for you in the new year is that you experience pieces of love with amazing frequency and that these memories fill your heart and head for years to come.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
When the Christmas tree falls over!
Yes---- I am laughing through the holidays. I am working on practicing the purposeful use of humor during times that I feel especially stressed. I am sure that you are also trying to get the traditional preparations finished -making cookies, wrapping presents, creating photo books, sending the annual newsy letter. While my mind tells me to relax and enjoy what I am doing....I often find that same mind racing ahead to what needs to be done next.
We had two of our granddaughters over Thanksgiving weekend and took them to cut down the Christmas tree. The delight in the eyes of the 4 year old as the tree fell over was really fun, as was the ride on the horse drawn wagon with the 20 month old calling out to the "horsie". We put the tree up and secretly laughed about the 45 ornaments put by the kids on the bottom 2 branches with the remaining 5 ornaments on the top. The older one made a parade of the nativity figures, as she carefully put up the crib that has been in my family for almost a century now. We listened to Christmas songs and had a grand time.
That evening an exhausted Grandma and Grandpa were finishing cleaning up the kitchen when I glanced into the living room to see the newly decorated tree slowly topple to the floor with ornaments and lights scattering. I quickly realized that the worst part of this disaster was the water soaking into the oriental rugs and YIKES I had put a bit of bleach into the water. As we picked up the tree, I remember telling my husband that we would laugh about this someday, but it sure was not funny right now. I decided to decorate that tree that night so the girls would wake up in the morning to enjoy the tree. It also gave me a chance to balance those ornaments! We did create some great holiday memories.
My wish for you is that you will enjoy the holidays and find ways to use humor (on purpose) to create a season filled with laughter.
Look for my next post in January of 2011!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Thanksgving Memories
The kids table! I felt so grown when I was about 11 years old and was able to leave the kids table and sit in the formal dining room at my Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner. The white linen tablecloth, silver and china were carefully placed on the table. I was scrunched on the corner, but I did not care as I was so excited to be with the grownups. There was an endless array of food and my grandmother made delicious pies. Those pies were cooling on the sun porch when we arrived. The meal is a hazy memory, but I have distinct recollections of the women laughing and talking in the kitchen afterwards while doing the many dishes. The men often played cards including a competitive game of casino.
We will be gathering at my house this year and now I am the grandmother. Oh my! We will be using paper plates for the crew of over 20, but I will use the good silverware and light the candles. The grandkids actually seem to love the "kids table" as they are all close in age. I wonder what their memories will be as they grow up. What snippets of this Thanksgiving will they remember?
I hope your memories of past holidays are blessed ones and fill you with the joy of the season. Take a few moments to consider and cherish the idea that you are creating new memories for those near and dear to your hearts. As you reflect on your treasured memories, try some new traditions and be sure to include laughter in the Thanksgiving plans that you create for your loved ones.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Ice Breakers
I depend on ice breakers for my workshops and training sessions. When I first tried using these handy tools, there was inevitably someone in the audience who would groan, roll their eyes, or give an icy glare (pun intended). Initially this negative reaction made me question the wisdom of incorporating these gems into my workshops.
As I have continued to provide seminars on brain research and humor, it has became very clear from the cognitive research that games, fun and activities add incredible value to the entire learning process. Yep-you heard that right! Ice breakers are not just used at the beginning of the workshop, but can be woven through your program to accomplish your goals and objectives. If you have not tried using icebreakers, I highly recommend you consider incorporating them , as they can provide great benefits to learning (as noted in chapter one of my book, Using Humor to Maximize Learning. )
One benefit for icebreakers is that they give participants the opportunity to review their learning. Pair/share activities are one of my favorite techniques for this review. Another favorite technique is the ball toss assessment. I am sure that most of you have experienced successful icebreakers as a presenter or as a participant.
If you would like more information on ice breakers or would like to contribute your ideas, AATH (Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor) is in the process of inviting their members to share their favorite suggestions for publication on their updated web site. If you are a member of AATH, please contribute your ideas to President-elect, Chip Lutz at czar@funsquadinc.com or send your suggestions to the links found on the AATH web site
Of course feel free to contact me with your ideas as well. Let's break ice together!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Bullying: No Laughing Matter
One of the greatest fears that we have is the fear of being laughed at. Speech classes usually begin with the recognition that many people would rather die then give a speech. No one likes to be the brunt of ridicule and bullies know this. The prevalence of cruel teasing usually increases at the middle school level. The dark humor of sarcasm, mockery and ridicule are controlling tactics used by bullies to manipulate their victims.
Negative humor is often used to express frustration, hostility and anger. If one feels inferior, laughing at others becomes a way to feel superior and this heinous laughter become a weapon in the hands of stressed unhappy individuals.
Bullies are often adept at using negative humor to manipulate others. Control and power are their goals. Humor that is sarcastic, cynical, or mocking results in the recipient feeling helpless and vulnerable. So humor can become a powerful weapon of the bully, when used with the intentional purpose of wounding another person.
Bully behavior is frequently portrayed in the media as an acceptable method to express frustration, hostility, fears and anger. The use of mockery and sarcasm allows the venting of anger. Jokes abound on television, movies and the Internet with the express purpose of making fun of others. Our fears of differences have often been expressed in jokes about Italians, Jews, Mexicans, gays and religious entities. While often clever, these jokes perpetuate the bully mindset that it is OK to make fun of individuals or groups. There is research to suggest that this type of humor can eventually lead to violent behavior.
It is difficult to deal with bullying humor because these individuals often turn the tables when confronted with their negative behavior. They will say things like “Can’t you take a joke?” “I was just kidding!” This is a clever ploy intended to defend the bullying behavior and insinuate that the other person does not have a sense of humor. The fear of being accused of not having a sense of humor is close to the fear of being made fun of.
Please feel free to share ways that you have found helpful to confront the negative humor of bullies. Bullying behavior is prevalent in the news today, but I have not seen much on the negative humor as a weapon of choice by bullies. I will be sharing ideas and resources in subsequent blogs.
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